Wisebites Episode 27: The Glorious Revolution

APOLOGIES FOR THE EDITING MISTAKE. Editing got the better of me. So ignore the 20 seconds or so of scrambled nonsense. You may roast me in the comment section if you wish.

The Gnostic Heretic for this week will not discuss some far flung event of global significance, or some mind rattling crime committed by the super rich, but rather something closer to home. A problem of a local scale but which nevertheless parallels conflicts and strife the world over. Unless you are deafer than a Muslim when women’s rights are mentioned you will heard the Gnostic Heretic’s accent. To many it sounds vaguely familiar, often being mistaken for a Scottish accent. In reality is the accent of Northern Ireland. This name does not denote a geographical region, i.e. the North of Ireland, but rather six counties which are ruled to this day by Westminster. Northern Ireland is a region of the United Kingdom. Today we explore the Orange Order

 

 

The Orange Order

 

But the rights and wrongs of who rules who is not what I want to talk about. More specifically I wish to discuss a cultural division between two societies. One is British and Protestant, the other is Irish and Catholic. It seems as if when one side says white, the other says black not under any true conviction but rather the desire to simply hold the opposite view to their enemies. But let’s rewind for a second. How did this happen? How did such a tiny area split so utterly down ethnic lines? Well, back in 1688, a great political conflict was underway known as the Glorious Revolution. This was a coup de tat mixed with an invasion by Protestant King of the Netherlands King William 3rd of Orange (yes the same Oranges still occupying the Dutch throne to this day) of Britain and Ireland by invitation of some unscrupulous British nobles.

 

 

Wait, you might say, did the British nobility ask to have their country invaded by a foreign power who did not even speak English? Damn right they did (and it would not be the last time either. ahem German George). That is how desperate they were to put a Protestant King on the throne. William’s successful invasion was viewed with an almost cult like delight by Irish Protestants who revelled in their elevated social status over the massively Catholic dominated Irish population. The product of this cultic reverence was an organisation, loosely based on Freemasonry called the Orange Order. The Orange Order today celebrate the height of their year on the 12th July which commemorates the defeat of the Catholic king by William by the river Boyne in what is now the Republic of Ireland.

 

 

Today the Twelfth sees the streets of Northern Ireland draped in the colours of British flag and images of King William riding in on a white horse. Throughout this bonanza of red white and blue, the Orange Order parades their men through what they call ‘traditional routes’ setting up triumphal arches, playing music and often singing religious, and sometime downright violent and sectarian songs. Many problems emerge when they insist on parading through areas largely inhabited by Catholics. Many Irish Catholics view the Orange Order as something akin to the KKK, except the supremacy is not based on skin colour but on religious affiliation. This accusation is not without reason considering violence often breaks out on the Twelfth. Furthermore effigies of the Pope, prominent nationalist politicians, the flag of the Republic of Ireland and any one else they do not like that year are burnt on public bonfires. One of the more memorable incidents was when five Catholic civilians were gunned down by Orange Men for no reason other than they were Catholic. In later years, band members and young thugs would often hold up five fingers when passing the site of the shooting to mock those who were killed.

 

 

How to Cure the Orange Order

 

 

Anyone with half a brain could see that the heart of this problem is Abrahamism. These revolting religions were created for the sole purpose of sewing discord and chaos and of setting off one human being against another. The thirty year long spate of civil unrest in Northern Ireland, known as the Troubles is often considered the culmination of this religious enmity. The list of crimes committed by all sides during that conflict is manifold and truly sickening. But all of this is old news right? Maybe, but here is the reason why I wanted to bring it up. When the Troubles ended, a system was set up, based on that of the European Union in which to forge a lasting peace. That system was global Capitalism. Just like the EU, nothing was done about the divisions between the two communities, rather they were convinced to get along because peace could make both sides rich. Indeed, one of the most prominent pictures of the new peace era was the leaders of the DUP and Sinn Fein sitting together in the newly built IKEA store beside Belfast City Airport. The invisible hand of the market was called in to quell the legacy of William of Orange.

 

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But the dull distractions of consumerism have done nothing to ease the continued hatred boiling just beneath the surface. When a paramilitary explodes a bomb these days, it is met with annoyance rather than fear or disgust due to the roads closing, making access to the city centre a slower affair. But what if this slim veneer of self interest were to disappear?

 

 

Northern Ireland is part of the UK, and the UK is leaving the European Union. The system in place in Northern Ireland was based on the EU system, and indeed massive parts of it were and for the moment continue to be purely funded by the EU. It seems entirely likely that starved of EU funding and influence, the capitalist distraction may fall apart as the NI economy slows even further. What then shall prevent people from venting their frustration through more traditional means? The Troubles Rebooted is much more likely to happen than anyone is comfortable with. So what do we do?

 

 

We must do two things. Firstly, eradicate Abrahamism, it is the source of the conflict, secondly install a Meritocracy allowing the people of Northern Ireland to enjoy equal opportunity and a prosperous life. Otherwise, I fear for the future of my homeland. Only reason can save it, but the people here seem so utterly stuck in their ways. In my mind I see the Reason Order marching through streets declaring the birth of a Meritocratic Republic and glorifying those geniuses and writers who have been produced by this community over the years. Northern Ireland needs Meritocracy, and from my own experiences living here I believe it needs it desperately, before hell once again breaks loose.

 

 

The Gnostic Heretic writing for the Apollo Institute of Reason AIR Review©

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