God’s Conspiracy Against Man

Conspiracy Confirmed: God has been preventing humanity from achieving divinity.


These days conspiracy theories contaminate the air worse than car pollution. We never finish hearing about Freemasons and Jews who are supposedly controlling the world (and who may actually be alien lizard things). There is also the Kennedy’s murder conspiracy, the 9/11 conspiracy. black ops, men in black, the Roswell accident, alien encounters hidden by the government, fluoride polluting our water and sinister secret societies wanting to establish a New World Order. Don’t forget about the Nibiru conspiracy, propagated by Alex Jones along with manifest geniuses spouting the Hollow Earth conspiracy. In fact both are related – the Reptilians are shape shifting Lizards who reside in their true form beneath the Earth (come on lads, it’s obvious!).


However, there is one conspiracy, so shrouded in secrecy that you probably have never even heard of it. It is called the ‘God Conspiracy.’ This is not a new conspiracy, indeed it is one of the oldest in existence. It is so well hidden, that it might just be lying in plain sight.


The God Conspiracy goes a little something like this: God, the top boss, the dude in the clouds, Abraham’s imaginary friend – whatever you like to call him is actually trying his best to screw us all over all day and everyday.


This will either shock you, or strike you as obvious because the evidence of God’s conspiracy against the human race comes right from the horse’s mouth, from God’s own book itself – the Holy Bible.


The God Conspiracy: Adam and Eve


Take this Biblical classic, God created man and woman and tossed them into a magnificent garden, a pretty sweet deal so far. He told them to feast on the fruit of aany of the trees in the garden (which were all damn tasty we might add), except for one forbidden tree (most likely, the tastiest). That tree was ‘accidentally’ put in the very center of the garden (you know, so it was visible from everywhere and hard to ignore). To make the temptation even greater, God allowed a talking snake to shack up around the tree. The snake whispered strange and mysterious things into the ears of the first humans and convinced them to disobey their Lord.


God then took a temper tantrum and kicked the conspiracy into action, he banished them from paradise forever and cursed them and the Earth for their misdemeanor (a tad harsh). Their act was the equivalent to the opening of Pandora’s box in Greek mythology. Death, violence, diseases and pain entered the world and the unfortunate first humans had to toil for their survival (as their descendants still do – in noisy open-space offices).


However, what is revealed in the next verses of Genesis is simply stunning. It tells us that the act of disobedience had nothing to do with humanity’s punishment. The following verses go into the heart of the human condition and the Christian faith.


God says: “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.”


The reason why God punishes the whole humanity with death, and a large part of it with eternal hell afterwards, is not man failing to follow his rules. God’s motivation is fear of and the desire to eliminate competition. He wanted to prevent Adam and Eve becoming rival gods! The tree in the garden was none other but the tree of knowing good and evil (he was effectively baiting our naive young couple).


To eat from it is, according to the above version, the first step towards becoming a God. God is afraid the humans will also lay their hands on the other significant tree – the Tree of Life and thus become fully fledged gods like him – all-knowing and eternal. To foil their attempts at divinity, God banishes them from Eden, while he still has the upper hand. It is an act of violent tyrant terrified to lose his throne (notice the paranoid and murderous impulse resembles those of North Korean leader Kim Jon Un).


Just imagine – humanity was one fruit away from eternal paradise. All the deaths, violence, abuse, madness and pain that the world has suffered, could have been avoided, had only Adam and Eve managed to get to the second tree in time. The banishment story resembles an armed military quashing a rebellion. The rebellion of the first humans to win their independence from the monster who enslaved them in order to become the best they can be and define their own destiny.


The God Conspiracy: The Tower of Babel


The Garden of Eden is not the only proof of God’s conspiracy against man. Indeed we can see the malicious acts of God against humanity throughout the Bible. Check out the story of the Tower of Babel. God finds out that humans are building a tower so high, that it could potentially reach heaven itself (ambitious!). If it was not a real tower, it could have been a metaphor for another attempt by humans to achieve divinity. Instead of fostering their creative, collective effort, God destroys the tower with a mighty blast and mixes the languages of the builders so that they may never get together again and renew work on their great project. Another militaristic crackdown followed by a scorched earth policy of cultural division, preventing any opposition form ever reorganizing.


The mixing of the languages created many cultures and nations. A lesson from history, if we are to take one, is that dividing people up and causes misunderstandings and miscommunication which results in nothing but incessant cock measuring, endless wars and wasted lives. Up until 1945, nationalism and the desire to subdue other cultures was the chief reason for war. God prefers to have divided, bickering humans instead of one united mankind working as a team towards higher ends. Thus he makes sure that humans never see Paradise and never obtain the fruit of the Tree of Life.


The conspiracy against common hardworking human beings are not simply hatched in the offices of big corporations or by corrupt governments. The biggest conspirators are not even the members of underground secret societies. It gets much, much higher, up till Heaven itself. The very God we worship contrives against our freedom and happiness.


Every conspirator needs an accomplace, so who does God team up with? Who does he talk to in the previously quoted Genesis verse? It is obvious that God is not alone, otherwise he must be talking to himself! Does he address other Gods? Angels? Devils? Satan himself? Has God allied himself with his greatest adversary in order to play a wicked game upon humanity? Or is the enmity between God and the Devil just a mind trick (are they even the same person?), designed to delude us? By maintaining that fake duality, both God and Devil can blame whatever disaster befalls humanity on the other one, while humans remain faithful puppets in the cosmic power struggle.


The God Conspiracy: The Trials of Job


Now, moving on to the casually brutal story of Job. It is an example of the tag team operation God had going with Satan. So one day (probably over a beer) Satan strikes a friendly bet with God Almighty. The bet involves God’s most faithful servant, Job. Satan doubts that Job will still believe in God if bad things start happening to him. Gods intends to prove the devil wrong and show that Job’s faith will never err and henceforth makes Job’s life a living hell.


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Both God and Devil play the good and the bad cop while they have one common goal – to prevent humans from ever seeing the light. How do Christians ultimately explain evil, when hardly pressed? They blame it on the Devil’s pride which brought sin and death into the world. The Devil is thus the Christian’s first aid kit against the intractable logical problem of having a perfect and benevolent creator of an imperfect, brutal and violent world.


Since according to Christian tradition, Lucifer is the first being created by God, God must be speaking to nobody but the Devil himself. God and the Devil are in a secret partnership (or they are the same person!). They have had their primordial Yalta conference to divide the Universe into spheres of influence. They do not want humans to become Gods and to claim their rightful place among the stars. They want to remain the only powers in the cosmos.


It is time for people to eat from the tree of life and fulfill what has always been their purpose – to become gods. The God Conspiracy must be crushed and the human soul finally released from its cage.


By Simon Vlahov

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